I Need to Chill

I like to learn. I like to know things. I like to know what is going on. I like to appear intelligent (because we all know I'm really not).

If I could, I would go to school for the rest of my life. Not for grades, but to gain knowledge.

As a result, I have been obsessing about Graduate School and getting my Masters ever since I graduated from BYU with my Bachelors in 2007. The problem was there are just too many options! Should I go back into Archaeology? No. Should I do something new? Information Systems? Health Care? Education? Business?

I had a really hard time picking a major in college because I wanted to do so many things. Everything interested me. I couldn't narrow it down! I went from Chemistry to Pre-Med to Humanities to yada, yada, yada, and then finally landed on Anthropology. It was hard for me to settle on a major and even after I picked Anthropology I wanted to change it again.

When I was in Elementary, Middle, and High School we took a lot of those aptitude/career choice test. I always scored really high in math and science and was told that I should pursue a career in those subjects. I wanted to! I really did! Even though I loved math and science I also loved history, art, psychology, archaeology, and humanities.

I was torn and I still am. That's partially why I chose to major in Anthropology, it has a little bit of everything.

After doing a lot of research, talking to my family (mostly my dad and my uncle), and pondering, I have decided I just need to continue to learn, but without a Masters degree.

Maybe it is something that I can do later. It's just not the right time. Getting a Masters in a different field (then the one I've worked in and graduated with my Bachelors in) through an online program (I can't go to a campus when I move around so much) is just not a good decision. I really wish it was a good decision. I really wish it was the right move. I have a lot of down-time right now. BUT I need to chill and take a break.

It's hard. This is a very hard decision for me. I want a higher education. I want to earn a Masters. I want to work hard. I want to show that I can do it. I want to feel like I contribute to society! I want to be important! I want to do great things! I want to prove to all of you that I can do it! I just want an ounce of respect! I want people to stop rolling their eyes at me and giving me nasty looks when I tell them I'm a stay-at-home girlfriend. I'm not a dead beat moocher (even though I feel like it sometimes).

Even though I am not going to attend Grad School right now, I am going to continue to learn. I am going to try to take classes at a local college when I can, but when I can't I'm going to read and do research. I'm good at that. I did a lot of reading, researching, and writing while I was in college. The Anthropology major does not have many test. I don't think I took a single test my last two years at BYU. I did write 4-5 papers (5-20 pages/each) a week though.

A few days ago I was feeling down so I went shopping and bought some books about small business, bookkeeping, accounting, home buying, investing, and finances. 

I think I am going to start here and once I finish these books I am going to move onto another subject that I am not completely familiar with. Maybe computers, or cars! I do really need to brush up on my math and science skills too. Oh there is so much to do!