Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Me the 5

Hi. My name is Courtney and I am the most average person you will ever meet.

It's true. There is nothing special or exceptional about me.

Looks? A generous 5. Personality? It's there. Talents? Um... I'll get back to you. Intelligence? Medium. Fun? Sometimes. Extrovert or Introvert? Both. Neither. It depends on the situation. Life? Just fine. Athletic? Nah. I can't even touch my toes.

Let's dive deeper.

I'm not pretty. I'm not hideous. I'm not physically fit. I'm not obese. I'm definitely not thin or skinny. I don't have a nice body. I don't have "natural beauty," which is why I don't wear makeup. I've only had three boyfriends (unless you count the one in 3rd grade). I dated one for a month (high school), one for three months (college), and Josh for 3 years. Minus these three guys, I've never had a guy have a crush on me or pursue me in anyway. [The guy that dated me for three months... he told me that the only reason he dated me was because my other two roommates rejected him first. I was a nice backup. And then he cheated. Should we even count him?] The only guy that has ever told me I was beautiful is Josh. Plus, it's gets pointed out to me at work. When did telling the Office Manager that she should "stop eating because you've gained weight" become an acceptable thing to say? Trust me. I know. I look at myself in the mirror everyday. I know when I gain a single ounce. I know what I look like. Big beaver teeth, small jaw, big nose. I'm a 5.

I can be nice. I can be mean. I have a Type A Personality. I care about my friends and family, but people don't consider me generous. I'm just there. I'm highly sensitive. I'm a people pleaser and a perfectionist. I can be fun or I can find fun things to do. But people don't seek me out because they know it's always a good time when I'm around. I've been called an extrovert and an introvert. I've been called sassy and I'm a self-proclaimed nerd. I love Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter. My personality is a 5.

When I was in High School I remember going to a church activity with my fellow young women where we had to tell everyone what our talents were. Most of the girls could name multiple talents. Basketball, gymnastics, cheer leading, good student, natural leader, etc. When it was my turn I struggled. "Um, I'm smart. I guess." I did get good grades in HS (if you can call a 4.0 "good grades") while taking AP classes. But of course, the other girls didn't agree with me. We struggled to come up with a talent. Then finally someone said I was a "good listener." So, I'm good at sitting still, looking at you, and occasionally nodding my head. Sweet. *high-five*

I'm not that smart. I can read. I'm informed about what is going on in the world. I'm not a very good writer. I keep getting told that I'm "uneducated" and that I don't "know nuffin' about anything." 

*nodding along* 

Okay, I'm a 5.

I'm good at my job. But my job is easy.

Scan, upload, file, scan, upload, file...

The hardest part of my job is keeping my temper in check and not letting them see me cry.

I'm not athletic. I like to work out because it makes me feel good. I'm not a good runner. I'm a strong swimmer. I can ride a bike. I have no upper body strength. I struggle with pushups. I have no balance, coordination, or flexibility. The hardest part about Insanity for me is the stretching. My calf are pretty nice. I'm a 5.

Nothing about me stands out. When people describe me they don't use very personal adjectives. "Do you remember my friend Courtney? You know... tall, brown hair... with um, eyes."

Yep that's me. 

Me the 5.