You know why?
Because they are my friends.
Let me explain.
Every time I hang out with my guy friends I end up going home feeling really bad about myself.
I don't think I'm fat. I don't think I'm unattractive. I'm in pretty good shape (can you hike 12 miles a day for 10 days straight?!). I can look in the mirror every morning and say something nice about myself.
So, what happened, Court? Its hard to explain.
How can I keep my good self image when I hang out with guys that are constantly googling over super good looking girls? Or guys that complain that none of their "pretty" girl friends have time to hang out with them? Or guys that are complaining because all their hot girl friends are going on missions? Or guys that will only date models? Or guys who will compliment and flirt with other girls in front of me (its not like I want to date them... but everyone likes to be complimented)?
Its not just the guys... sorry to target them. Its hard to feel good about myself when even my best girlfriends are obsessing about their weight (and they are skinny... I'm not just saying that).
You know what I did after hanging out with these guys? I went home (after stopping by my cousins to trade cars and see my aunt and uncle... long story) and cried. I guess I'm embarrassed. There's always those girls that are super cute and thin who are constantly complaining that they are fat and ugly. Oh, please honey! I guess I'm the total opposite: I'm not attractive (notice I didn't say ugly... not all my self esteem is gone) and I'm not thin, but I'm fine with that. I can't base my self esteem off my looks. And I try not to. Do you follow?
What happened next? The best thing EVER! I went to Costco!
Well, I went to pick up my prescription for my Costochondritis (which means the cartilage between my ribs in inflamed and it hurts when I breathe), but I ended up getting something else there too: diet pills... Hydroxycut to be exact.
After purchasing my goods, I started heading for the exit. As you exit Costco you have to show the door-worker-person your receipt and merchandise. I flashed my receipt (I only had two things) and proceeded to exit when the door-worker-person stopped me. He (a good looking guy) looked at me and said "Hydorxycut?! Naw girl! You don't need these! You look good!" I laughed and said thanks. I guess he didn't think I was genuine because he kept yelling it and even asked the people in line behind me if they thought I looked good. I didn't stick around to hear their answers, but I left smiling.
Moral of the story: I need to lose some weight. I do care what people think about me. If you are thin you need to stop obsessing about your weight and learn to love yourself. If you are hanging out with a not-so-good-looking girl stop telling her about your good looking girl friends, she doesn't want/need to hear about it. That guy at Costco is a sweetheart.