You wanna look smarter?

Then learn your -ologies!

When I was in college people would always ask me what my major was. I would smile and then proceed to tell them that I was majoring in Anthropology.

Some people would be honest and ask me what that was. To which I would happily reply "people, it's the study of people".

Most people, however, would try and guess what anthropology was:

"Um, what is that? Like the study of ants?"

"Oh yea, like bugs and stuff."

"Wow you must really like rocks!"

Now, when I tell people I'm an archaeologist I get even better responses:

"Oh man I LOVE dinosaurs!" (that would be a paleontologist)

"So have you designed anything in town?" (yep, the guy thought that an archaeologist and an architect were the same thing)

"Cool! Can you tell me about the local rocks?" (Nope, I'm not a geologist)

"You look at bugs?" (Ok, what's up with the bug thing?)

"Indiana Jones!" (Close enough!)

Yep, I guess you can say I'm like Indiana Jones. If Indiana Jones hiked 15 miles a day and watched backhoes dig trenches for a petroleum pipeline.

*And yes, these are all direct quotes*

My Secure "Words"

I don't have very good handwriting so I keep an electronic journal. I wrote in my journal (an electronic Word file called "Words") a lot over the last few years. I've noticed that I'm becoming more and more reclusive and more skeptical of people so my journal was my emotional outlet.

Last year was bad. Last year was hard. I wrote it all down. I believed it helped me.

I was actually proud of myself for keeping a journal. I don't know who would ever read it. I don't want anyone to read it (evident by the password protection I put on the document). BUT I wrote in it like I was supposed to.

Not too long ago my computer started going really slow so I decided to move my pictures, music, and documents onto my TWO external hard drives. So I managed to get all my pictures, music, documents, and anything else onto these two external hard drives. Then it happened... the first hard drive crashed and I lost everything on it. No biggie right? Except for the fact that the ONE document that never made it onto my second external hard drive was my journal document.

I don't know if I'm happy or sad that the file got deleted. Writing down all those feelings was therapeutic but I never wanted to read it again. I would never want anyone else to read it. So maybe it's a good thing it's gone. It's not like I need a written document to help me remember what happened to me. Trust me, I will never forget. I view the document like one of those angry letters you write someone and then throw away before you give it to them.

Phew. I think I'm glad it's gone. I'm moving on and hopefully starting over.

Should I start a new journal? What's the point?

NLF Sunday Ticket or NBA League Pass?

I debated with myself over the last few weeks about whether or not I should get the NLF Sunday Ticket or NBA League Pass for my Direct TV...

Well, there is no way I am not going to get the NBA League Pass (I can't live without my Lakers)... so I guess it just comes down to this: I can manage without watching all the Chargers games this season?

As I sit here watching the season opener (Favre vs Brees) in my hotel room I can't help but ponder this dilemma.

Oh man, there's my answer. I'm in a hotel and I'm going to be in a lot of hotels over the next year.

So no NFL Sunday Ticket for me : (

Oh well, here's to an exciting and unpredictable season! *cheers*

Go Chargers!

che sanza speme vivemo in disio

I've only been sure about one thing in my life. One thing. One thing only. It has been my life. It has been my goal. My dream. If I believed in destiny, then this would be mine: I am going to be a wife and a mother and I'm going to be great at it!

I've believed this for my entire life.

It has kept me going. It has made me strive to be a better person. Whenever something exciting happens to me I like to think about how I will tell my children that story. Whenever something bad happens I think about the life lessons I've learned and how I will be able to teach my children these principles.

Whenever I get sad, or lonely, or depressed I think about them. They make me happy. They make me want to be a better person because I want to be a great mother for them.

Now, things have changed... I'm 25, single, and have never been in a good, committed, long-term relationship. When guys meet me I'm stereotyped ["Still single? Ouch! I wonder what's wrong with her?"]

Things have changed and now I'm sure about something else: It will never happen. He's not coming. So they are not coming.

I can live with this. Knowing that I'll be alone for the rest of my life (how bold huh?). I can deal with this. I think my family takes it harder then I do. I know that people base a lot of self worth on marriage. I remember my cousin was making a scrapbook for my grandparents and we (the grandkids) were supposed to write up a paragraph about what we've accomplished in the last 5 years or so. Her example of these "accomplishments" were engagement, marriage, children, etc. Ok, so I guess I haven't "accomplished" anything then... well, according to some peoples standards. BUT I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED THINGS! I've graduated from college, became independent, started my career, never went without a job, got recruited for my current job, and got published.

One of my favorite cousins just got married and I went to her wedding in CA. While I was there a few people came up to me, gave me the sympathetic-head-tilt-and-smile, hugged me, and then said, "Don't worry, you're time will come."

Um, thanks.

My "time" is not coming.

So sorry to disappoint.

You see, they (family, friends, anyone else that gives a crap) care more then I do. They always say, "I just want you to be happy."

So... getting married automatically makes you happy? Getting married makes life easier? Getting married guarantees you happiness? Really? I don't think so.

I read the blogs. I hear the heartache. I see the facebook post. Blah blah blah "I want to go camping with the guys but the old ball and chain won't let me". Well, isn't that so freakin' sweet. Yeah that's all I want to be. Somebody's ball and chain. The butt of guys-night-out jokes. "My wife gained so much weight after our first child AND she never lost it!" ... Blah blah blah... Yea that sounds like a hoot! Sign me up!

I'm not pessimistic. I'm a realist.

I'm done with searching. I'm done with waiting. I've accepted it. You should too.

He's not coming and neither are they.

p.s. I like to make a special shout out to my kind older brother who mumbled under his breath "...and that's why your alone" to me after I made a bratty comment to him.

If you know of any more reasons why I'm alone feel free to leave a comment and I'll add it to my long, already existing, self made list.

I'm going to be an Aunt!!

So the first day of the Alaskan cruise the entire family was sitting in the Windjammer (of course) and Missy turned to me and asked if I wanted an early birthday present. I said yes and she pulled out a tiny package. I opened it and found a onesie with "I love my Aunt Court" ironed on it. It took me a second to figure out what they were telling us... Missy is pregnant! I'm gonna be an aunt! AND my parents are going to be grandparents! Yeah! I'm so excited! I love babies!