Sunday, September 19, 2010

My Secure "Words"

I don't have very good handwriting so I keep an electronic journal. I wrote in my journal (an electronic Word file called "Words") a lot over the last few years. I've noticed that I'm becoming more and more reclusive and more skeptical of people so my journal was my emotional outlet.

Last year was bad. Last year was hard. I wrote it all down. I believed it helped me.

I was actually proud of myself for keeping a journal. I don't know who would ever read it. I don't want anyone to read it (evident by the password protection I put on the document). BUT I wrote in it like I was supposed to.

Not too long ago my computer started going really slow so I decided to move my pictures, music, and documents onto my TWO external hard drives. So I managed to get all my pictures, music, documents, and anything else onto these two external hard drives. Then it happened... the first hard drive crashed and I lost everything on it. No biggie right? Except for the fact that the ONE document that never made it onto my second external hard drive was my journal document.

I don't know if I'm happy or sad that the file got deleted. Writing down all those feelings was therapeutic but I never wanted to read it again. I would never want anyone else to read it. So maybe it's a good thing it's gone. It's not like I need a written document to help me remember what happened to me. Trust me, I will never forget. I view the document like one of those angry letters you write someone and then throw away before you give it to them.

Phew. I think I'm glad it's gone. I'm moving on and hopefully starting over.

Should I start a new journal? What's the point?


Abby said...

I totally do this. Except I have it in actual journals. Last year was bad for me too so I have told Jeff if something happens to me there are like to journals in my night stand to be burned. I vented and vented a lot!! I figure it is cheaper than therapy!! Ha. I say keep writing it is good for the soul!! I hope this year is better to you!!!!

Cheryl said...

Start a new one. This time, your journal will be filled with stuff you'll want EVERYONE to read one day. Because it will be happy stuff! It's gotta be, right?

My blog is my journal --unfortunately, I can't vent into it like I could a private one.

This may sound trite or lame or whatever, but I think the best place to vent and let it out is in prayer. He already knows everything you're thinking, so what have you got to lose? ;)

Van Dusenators said...

I started writing a journal last year since my commute into Boston on public transportation is about an hour. In the past when I wrote in journals it seemed like it was just a lot of whining and complaining; stuff I wasn't proud to read later on. This time I decided to write down all of the things that made me happy and thankful throughout the previous day/week. It was weirdly therapeutic because it forced me to focus on good things and blessings I'd received. Unfortunately I've gotten out of the habit but it was a good thing when I did it.