I have nightmares. A lot of them. I have them almost nightly.
I think that's why I'm such a hot sleeper. When I dream I am not calm. I am anxious. I always wake up in a cold sweat. I can usually get back to sleep, though. I wake up in a panic, figure out it was all a nightmare, get a glass of water, and then go back to sleep.
Tonight is different. Tonight I'm scared. I woke up because I was bawling my eyes out.
I dreamed that I was pregnant. I could feel the baby kicking inside me [I've had pregnancy dreams before]. But this one was different. Right before I was supposed to give birth the baby stopped kicking. I remember pushing on my stomach and I could feel something but it didn't move. The doctor told me it was time to give birth, but the baby had just died, so I would be delivering it stillborn.
It was terrible. It feels so real. I know it wasn't and I know it doesn't mean anything but that still doesn't change how I'm feeling right now.
Ok, I feel better now. It's time for some water and then back to bed.